Shadow Work Examples: 50 Real-Life Scenarios and Solutions
Relationship Shadow Examples
1. The Jealous Friend
Trigger: Your friend gets promoted and you feel jealous instead of happy.
Shadow: Disowned ambition and fear of your own success.
Work: Ask: "What success am I denying myself?" Own your ambition.
2. The Needy Partner Judgment
Trigger: You judge your partner as "too needy" and feel suffocated.
Shadow: Your own disowned needs and fear of vulnerability.
Work: Explore where you learned needing was weakness. Practice expressing needs.
3. The Controlling Mother-in-Law
Trigger: Rage at mother-in-law's controlling behavior.
Shadow: Your own need for control that you've suppressed.
Work: Find where you're controlling in subtle ways. Own your power.
4. The Unavailable Attraction
Trigger: Repeatedly attracted to emotionally unavailable people.
Shadow: Your own fear of intimacy and emotional unavailability.
Work: Explore where intimacy feels dangerous. Heal abandonment wounds.
5. The Perfectionist Partner Irritation
Trigger: Partner's perfectionism drives you crazy.
Shadow: Your own disowned perfectionist or rejected messiness.
Work: Find where you're perfectionistic or where you rebel against structure.
Workplace Shadow Examples
6. The Incompetent Boss
Trigger: Constant frustration with boss's incompetence.
Shadow: Fear of your own power and leadership abilities.
Work: Step into leadership in small ways. Own your competence.
7. The Spotlight Seeker
Trigger: Judgment of colleague who "always needs attention."
Shadow: Your own disowned need for recognition.
Work: Where do you hide your light? Practice being seen.
8. The Lazy Coworker
Trigger: Anger at coworker's laziness.
Shadow: Your own exhaustion and need for rest you're denying.
Work: Explore your relationship with rest. Where are you overworking?
9. The Yes-Man
Trigger: Disgust at colleague who never disagrees with boss.
Shadow: Your own people-pleasing or fear of authority.
Work: Find where you sacrifice authenticity for approval.
10. The Aggressive Negotiator
Trigger: Discomfort with aggressive business tactics.
Shadow: Your own disowned assertiveness and power.
Work: Practice healthy aggression. Claim your right to want.
Family Shadow Examples
11. The Irresponsible Sibling
Trigger: Resentment toward sibling who "never grew up."
Shadow: Your own disowned playfulness and freedom.
Work: Where did you have to grow up too fast? Reclaim play.
12. The Victim Parent
Trigger: Frustration with parent who plays victim.
Shadow: Your own victim mentality you refuse to acknowledge.
Work: Where do you give away power? Where do you blame others?
13. The Golden Child
Trigger: Jealousy of sibling who "can do no wrong."
Shadow: Your own disowned goodness or fear of being seen as good.
Work: Explore your relationship with praise and success.
14. The Emotional Father
Trigger: Discomfort with father showing emotions.
Shadow: Your own suppressed emotions, especially as relates to gender.
Work: Allow yourself to feel and express "forbidden" emotions.
15. The Boundary-less Mother
Trigger: Anger at mother's lack of boundaries.
Shadow: Your own boundary issues—too rigid or too loose.
Work: Examine where you merge or wall off. Find balance.
Social Shadow Examples
16. The Social Media Show-Off
Trigger: Eye-rolling at people's "perfect" social media lives.
Shadow: Your own need to be seen and validated.
Work: Where do you hide your real life? Practice authentic sharing.
17. The Spiritual Bypasser
Trigger: Irritation with "love and light" spiritual people.
Shadow: Your own tendency to avoid darkness or spiritual superiority.
Work: Embrace your darkness. Ground your spirituality.
18. The Conspiracy Theorist
Trigger: Judgment of people who "believe everything is a conspiracy."
Shadow: Your own skepticism or blind trust in authority.
Work: Question what you accept without examination.
19. The Activist
Trigger: Feeling attacked by passionate activists.
Shadow: Your own suppressed rage at injustice or complacency.
Work: Find your cause. Channel anger constructively.
20. The Materialistic Friend
Trigger: Judgment of friend obsessed with money/things.
Shadow: Your own relationship with abundance and material security.
Work: Heal poverty consciousness or spiritual superiority about money.
Personal Behavior Shadow Examples
21. Procrastination Patterns
Behavior: Chronic procrastination on important tasks.
Shadow: Fear of success, failure, or being seen.
Work: What would change if you succeeded? Meet that fear.
22. People-Pleasing
Behavior: Can't say no, overcommitting.
Shadow: Fear of rejection, abandonment, or conflict.
Work: Practice disappointing others. Your worth isn't in pleasing.
23. Perfectionism
Behavior: Nothing is ever good enough.
Shadow: Deep shame and fear of being seen as flawed.
Work: Embrace "good enough." Share imperfect work.
24. Addiction Patterns
Behavior: Compulsive behaviors (food, work, substances).
Shadow: Numbing unbearable emotions or filling emptiness.
Work: Feel what you're avoiding. Fill the void with self-love.
25. Chronic Lateness
Behavior: Always running late.
Shadow: Rebellion against control or fear of being present.
Work: Explore your relationship with time and authority.
Emotional Shadow Examples
26-30. Core Emotional Shadows
26. Suppressed Anger: "Nice" person who never gets angry → Shadow of rage
27. Denied Sadness: Always positive → Shadow of grief
28. Hidden Joy: Cynical/serious → Shadow of playfulness
29. Rejected Fear: Fearless persona → Shadow of vulnerability
30. Disowned Shame: Shameless behavior → Deep hidden shame
Body and Health Shadows
31-35. Somatic Shadows
31. Chronic Tension: Holding anger/stress in body
32. Weight Issues: Protection, visibility, space-taking shadows
33. Chronic Fatigue: Suppressed life force, depression
34. Sexual Dysfunction: Shame, trauma, power shadows
35. Digestive Issues: What can't you "digest" in life?
Money and Success Shadows
36-40. Financial Shadows
36. Never Enough Money: Scarcity programming, worthiness issues
37. Can't Hold Money: Fear of power, success, or responsibility
38. Workaholic: Worth tied to productivity, avoiding intimacy
39. Underearning: Playing small, fear of being seen
40. Money Guilt: Ancestral poverty, survivor guilt
Spiritual Shadow Examples
41-45. Spiritual Bypassing Shadows
41. "I'm Not Angry": Spiritual persona hiding rage
42. "Everything Happens for a Reason": Avoiding grief/injustice
43. "I Don't Judge": Hidden superiority and judgment
44. "I've Transcended Ego": Massive spiritual ego
45. "I Trust the Universe": Avoiding responsibility
Power and Control Shadows
46-50. Authority Shadows
46. Rebel Without Cause: Rejecting all authority → Father wound
47. Blind Obedience: Never questioning → Disowned power
48. Control Freak: Micromanaging → Fear of chaos/vulnerability
49. Doormat: No boundaries → Fear of conflict/abandonment
50. Tyrant: Dominating others → Deep powerlessness/fear
How to Work with These Examples
The Universal Process
- Recognition: "I see this trigger/pattern"
- Ownership: "This lives in me somehow"
- Exploration: "Where did I learn to reject this?"
- Integration: "How can I express this healthily?"
- Practice: "I'll embody this quality consciously"
Remember: Every Shadow Contains a Gift
These 50 examples show that shadows aren't problems to solve but parts to integrate. Your jealousy contains ambition. Your judgment contains discernment. Your triggers contain teachers.
The person who annoys you most is showing you your biggest shadow. The quality you judge most harshly is often your greatest disowned gift. The pattern you can't break is pointing to what needs integration.
Shadow work isn't about becoming perfect—it's about becoming whole. Every example here is an invitation to reclaim a lost part of yourself.
Ready to Work with Your Shadows?
Explore our Understanding Your Shadow Self Guide or discover your patterns with our Shadow Work Oracle.